We always hear "the rules" from the feminine side.
Ok - we are now
going to hear the rules from the man's side. These are our rules!
(and yes, they're all number 1!)
1. Sometimes, we are not thinking about you.
Live with it.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport, and no,
we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
1. When we have to go somewhere,
absolutely anything you wear is fine
... Really.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work,
Strong hints do not work,
Obvious hints do not work,
Just say it!
1. We don't remember dates.
Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a
calendar.
Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. Check your oil!
Please.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways,
and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle.
We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us
how you want it done,
not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach,for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is a vegetable.
We have no idea what mauve is.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was
the first two
months we were going out.
Get over it.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be.
Our lack of mind
reading ability is not
proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
