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Defense Attorney: What is your age?

Little Old Woman: I am 86 years.

Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words,
what happened to you?



Little Old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing
on my front porch on a warm spring evening,
when a young man comes creeping up on the porch
and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney: Did you know him?

Little Old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down?

Little Old Woman: He started to rub my thigh.

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him?

Little Old Woman: No, I didn't stop him.


Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: It felt good.
Nobody had done that since my

Abner passed away
some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney: What happened next?

Little Old Woman: He began to rub my breasts..

Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then?

Little Old Woman: No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney: Why not?

Little Old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me
feel all alive and excited.
I haven't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney: What happened next?


Little Old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy,
I jumped up, yanked off my housedress
and yelled......"Take me.... young man... Take me!"

Defense Attorney: Did he take you?

Little Old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool!!"



...And that's when I shot the son of a bitch




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