Why we should feel sorry for tech support people:
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
The tech asked her if she was 'running it under Windows.'
then responded, 'No, my desk is next to the door.
But that is a good point.
The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window,
and his is working fine.'
Tech Support: 'OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same
time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen.
Now type the
letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.'
Customer: 'I don't have a 'P'.'
Tech Support: 'On your keyboard, Bob.'
Customer: 'What do you mean?'
Tech Support: ''P' on your keyboard, Bob.'
Customer: 'I'm not going to do that!'
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: 'I'd like a mouse pad, please.'
Salesperson: 'Certainly sir, we've got a large variety.'
Customer: 'But will they be compatible with my computer?'
I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax
the document back
to the sender when I was finished with it,
because he needed to keep it.
Customer: 'Can you copy the Internet for me on this floppy disk?'
I work for a local ISP.
Frequently we receive phone calls that start something
Customer: 'Hi. Is this the Internet?'
Some people pay for their online services with checks made payable to 'The Internet.'
Customer: 'So that'll get me connected to the Internet, right?'
Tech Support: 'Yeah.'
Customer: 'And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?'
Tech Support: 'Uhh...uh...uh...yeah.'
Tech Support: 'All right...now double-click on the File Manager icon.'
Customer: 'That's why I hate this Windows -- because of the icons
-- I'm a
Protestant, and I don't believe in icons.'
Tech Support: 'Well, that's just an industry term sir.
I don't believe it was
meant to --'
Customer: 'I don't care about any 'Industry Terms'. I don't believe in icons.'
Tech Support: 'Well...why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file
cabinet...is 'little picture' OK?'
Customer: 'My computer crashed!'
Tech Support: 'It crashed?'
Customer: 'Yeah, it won't let me play my game.'
Tech Support: 'All right, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot.'
Customer: 'No, it didn't crash -- it crashed.'
Tech Support: 'Huh?'
Customer: 'I crashed my game.
That's what I said before.
I crashed my spaceship
and now it doesn't work.'
Tech Support: 'Click on 'File,' then 'New Game.''
Customer: [pause] 'Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?'