If you tell your children "don't bother the bees and they won't bother
your kids will immediately feel compelled to prove that if you do
bother the bees they will bother you.....
A dead cockroach may terrify your two-year-old
but a black widow will
be a fascinating acquisition
once your back is turned.
Mud has magnetic properties.
The cleaner your child is, the more
attracted to the mud he will be.
Coming through the door will effect a
reverse polarization, however,
and all the mud will fall onto
the floor you
Bugs are edible if mom isn't looking,
but positively lip-smacking if
There are more dead leaves on your porch
in the summer than there were
in the fall.
Where did they come from?
If you look the other way,
your dogs will help potty train your
Worms are an immediate science experiment.
The ages of your children do
determine how disgusting the experiment is.
No matter what,
your cat will win the argument and bring in
wants to and eat it wherever
and whenever it likes.
All the birds will flock to your neighbor's birdfeeder
just out of view.
but poop on your car.
You will always leave the hose running during that rare moment you
catch a little catnap...
for about an hour and a half.
Your children will clamor to go fishing,
but won't like baiting the
waiting quietly for a bite,
cleaning the fish,
or picking out the
Their desire to go fishing is directly proportional to how much a
fishing license costs....
Summer is always too hot, but over too soon.
Originally published by Brenda Sparks
Used with permmission