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A Hillbilly family's only son had saved up money to go to college
and after about 3 years he came back home.
They were sitting around the dinner table when the dad said,
"Well son, you done gone to college so you must be perty smart.
Why don't you speak some math fer' us?"
"Ok, Pa", the son said, "Pi R squared."
After a moment the Dad said,
"Why son, they ain't teached ya nothin'!
Pie are Round, cornbread are square."



Somewhere in the deep South, Bubba called an attorney and asked,
"Is it true they're suing the cigarette companies for causing people to get cancer?"

"Yes, Bubba, that is true."

"And people are suing the fast food restaurants for making them fat
and clogging their arteries with all them burgers and fries ...
is that true, mister lawyer?"

"Sure is Bubba, but why do you ask?"

"Cause I was thinkin' ....
maybe I can sue Budweiser for all them ugly women I've been wakin' up with!"



What do they call reruns of "Hee Haw" in Mississippi?
A documentary.


Where was the toothbrush invented?
Oklahoma.
If it was invented anywhere else it would have been called a teethbrush.


Did you hear that they have raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32?
It seems they want to keep alcohol out of the high schools!



Did you hear about the $3,000,000 Texas State Lottery?
The winner gets $3 a year for a million years.


Why did O.J. Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
Everyone has the same DNA.


A Mississippi State trooper pulls over a pickup truck on I-40.
He says to the driver, "Got any ID?"
The driver says, "Bout What?"




What's the best thing to ever come out of Arkansas?
I-40.


Two Mississippians are walking down different ends of a street toward each other, and one is carrying a sack.
When they meet, one says, "Hey, Tommy Ray, what'cha got in th' bag?"
"Jus' some chickens."
"If I guesses how many they are, can I have one?"
"Shoot, ya guesses right and I'll give you both of them."
"OK, Ummmmmm.....five?"



Why do folks in Kentucky go to the movie theater in groups of 18 or more?
Cuz 17 and under not admitted.

A Mississippian came home and found his house on fire,
he rushed next door, telephoned the fire department, and shouted,
"Hurry over here, my house is on fire!"
"OK," replied the fireman, "How do we get there?"
"Shucks, don't you still have those big red trucks?"




Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911.
The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away.
"Where do you live?" asked the operator.
Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive."
The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me?"
There was a long pause and finally Bubba said,
"How 'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pick her up there?

Did you hear that the governor's mansion in Little Rock, Arkansas, burned down?
Yep. Pert' near took out the whole trailer park.


What do a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Oklahoma,
and a hurricane in Florida have in common?
Somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer.





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Rich Cavanaugh
Fun D Mental.com

Gladwin, MI

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