When you talk about Men You should be Politically Correct...... He does not have a beer gut; He has developed a LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY. He is not stupid; He suffers from MINIMAL CRANIAL DEVELOPMENT. He is not a Dirty Old Man; He is a APHRODISIACLLY ADVANCED SENIOR CITZEN. He does not get lost; He DISCOVERS ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS. He is not a cradle robber; He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS. He does not get falling-down drunk; He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL. He is not balding; He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION. He isn't Unemployed; He is CAREER CHALLENGED. He isn't Crazy; He is ALTERNATE REALITY DIRECTED. He does not act like a total ass; He develops a case of RECTAL CRANIAL INVERSION. He is not short; He is ANATOMICALLY COMPACT. He is not unsophisticated; He is SOCIALLY MALFORMED. He does not eat like a pig; He suffers from REVERSE ANOREXIA. He does not hog the blankets; He is THERMALLY UNAPPRECIATIVE. He isn't Lazy; He is MOTIVATIONALLY CHALLENGED. He doesn't have a dirty mind; He has INTROSPECTIVE PORNOGRAPHIC MOMENTS. He is not afraid of commitment; He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED. He's not Old; He's CHRONOLOGICALLY ADVANCED. And finally, He's not Dead; He is METABOLICALLY CHALLENGED.