You spilled more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.

Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life
to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

Your after dinner moans are loud enough to signal Dr. Kevorkian.

The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out had 2 fishermen in it!

The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.

You get grass stains on your butt after a walk, but never sat down.

Your "Big Elvis Super-Belt"
won't even go around your waist.

You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

A guest quotes a Biblical passage from
"The Feeding of the 5000."

That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your water bed.

You have 5 TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.

Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.

It looks like the left-overs are going last until Christmas.

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Rich Cavanaugh
Fun D

Gladwin, MI


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