The Top Ten signs that You're too old for Trick or Treating! You get winded from knocking on the door. You have to have another kid chew the candy for you. You decide the T.P. is too valuable to waste on the neighbor's trees. When someone drops a candy bar in your bag, you lose your balance and fall over. When the door opens you yell, "Trick or..." and can't remember the rest. People say, "Great Keith Richards mask!" and you're not wearing a mask. By the end of the night, you have a bag full of restraining orders. You have to carefully choose a costume that won't dislodge your hairpiece. You're the only Power Ranger in the neighborhood with a walker. And the Number one sign that You're too old for trick or treating is, You avoid going to houses where your ex-wives live.