11. "Hot hors d'oeuvres for 1,000 $2500; Santa Suit for the CEO $50; Hearing them whine for a raise - priceless!" 10. "To all employees Please go to xmasparty.com for your free holiday drink." 9. "So I said, 'Irv, if you don't put down that damn Uzi, you can just forget about a raise this year'." 8. "Oh, puh-leeze! I'll bet he put the copier on zoom 200%." 7. "The company policy is 'No Office Romances' it says nothing about cheap, meaningless sex on the boss's desk." 6. "Here's your Zima, Mr. Gore." 5. "Don't worry, we have plenty of time to get the Nuclear Missile Launch program finished, besides, I always code better after a few drinks." 4. "When the boss called me into his office to give me a pink slip, I didn't think he wanted me to 'wear' it." 3. "Why, Mr. Gates! Another copy of Windows! You shouldn't have." 2. "What do they mean, 'year end profit'? We're an Internet company!" and the Number 1 Thing Overheard at the Office Holiday Party... 1. "Oh, man, Bob's making photocopies of his ass agai-- BOB, WAIT!! THAT'S THE SHREDDER!!!"