20 Ways to Maintain Your Sanity
1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on
and point a hair dryer at passing cars.
See if they slow down.
2. Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want fries with that.
3. Page yourself over the intercom.
Don't disguise your voice.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in".
5. In the memo field of all your checks,
write "for sexual favors".
6. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions,
switch to espresso.
7. Finish all your sentences with
"So shall it be written, so shall it be done".
8. Dont use any punctuation marks
9. Ask people what sex they are.
Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
11. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".
12. Sing along at the opera
(or to the classical station on your radio).
13. Go to a poetry recital and
ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area.
Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance,
tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.
16. Have your coworkers address you
by your wrestling name, Killer Carl.
17. When the money comes out the ATM,
scream "I won!", "I won!" "3rd time this week!"
18. When leaving the zoo,
start running towards the parking lot,
yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner.
"due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Visit FunDMental.com on a daily basis!