You might be a Leprechaun if... You snicker uncontrollably all through "Darby O'Gill And The Little People." Your record collection is stocked only with very short artists -- Paula Abdul, Sheena Easton, Prince, Phil Collins. You get jumpy every time friends ask you if you can cover them for lunch. When you see a rainbow, you get a greedy little look in your eye. (Arrrr, there's me pot o' gold!) In your cupboard -- nothing but Lucky Charms cereal. Every time you get your paycheck, you convert it into gold coins and bury it somewhere. You insist on dancing a jig on your way to work each morning to the embarrassment of all your friends. You've been under a rock for the past few years. You just despise fairies. ("Wing Envy" if you ask me!) When drunk, you discourse endlessly on shoes, and annoy folks by saying things like "How can ye not know what a grommet is, lad? You're wearing several on yer feet! What are ye, dumb?" Around St. Patrick's Day, you stock up on Shamrock Shakes at McDonald's. When you say something is "magically delicious," it really is. And the number one way you can tell you might be a Leprechaun: You try to pick up women by saying "Ah, lassie, you have dazzling kneecaps, you do."