Here are some handy household tips that you Won't hear from martha Stewart!
(Note: Kids, don't do this at home, or anywhere else for that matter!)
If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic!
Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto!
The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables
by getting someone else to hold them
while you chop away.
For high blood pressure sufferers:
simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes
thus, reducing the pressure in your veins
A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock,
will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep
after you hit the snooze button.
Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat
by simply using the sink.
If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives,
then you will be afraid to cough.
Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer,
then you will forget about the toothache.
You only need two tools: WD-40 and duct tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40;
If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
If you woke up breathing,
You get another chance