1. Your house plants are alive,
and you can't smoke any of them.
2. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
3. 6:00 AM is when you get up,
not when you go to bed.
4. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
5. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
6. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
7. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
8. You feed your dog Science Diet
instead of McDonalds leftovers.
9. Dinner and a movie is the whole date
instead of the beginning of
10. Eating a basket of buffalo wings at 3 AM
would severely upset,
rather than settle, your stomach.
11. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
12. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
13. "I just can't drink the way I used to," replaces,
"I'm never going
to drink that much again."
14. You no longer drink at home to
save money before going to a bar.
15. You read this entire list looking desperately
for one sign that
doesn't apply to you.