1. Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.
2. Good judgment comes from experience,
and a lot of that comes from
3. Lettin' the cat outta the bag
is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it
4. If you're ridin' ahead of the herd,
take a look back every now and
make sure it's still there.
5. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence,
orderin' somebody else's dog around.
6. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman.
Neither one works.
7. If you find yourself in a hole,
the first thing to do is stop
8. Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
9. Don't squat with your spurs on.
10. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
11. It don't take a genius to spot a goat in a flock of sheep.
12. Always drink upstream from the herd.
13. There are three kinds of people:
The ones that learn by reading,
who learn by observation,
and the rest of them who have to touch the
see for themselves if it's really hot.