In order to start it you need some jumper cables
and a friend's car.
Whenever you turn it on,
all the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.
The "quick reference" manual is 420 pages long.
The screen often displays the message,
"Ain't it break time yet?"
The only chip inside is a Dorito.
The manual contains only one sentence: "Good Luck!"
It's celebrity spokesman is that "Hey Vern!" guy.
You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition
to your fabulous paperweight collection.
It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".
And the number One sign that you bought a cheap Computer...
Lower corner of screen has the words "Etch-a-sketch" on it.