Ten signs you've got a bad christmas tree It's Two feet tall, and forty feet wide It looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?" While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family car for a joy ride. Your guests keep asking "What's that Smell?" and it's your tree. You hang an ornament on it, and it falls over It's very small and says "air freshener" on it. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours. The dog even refuses to "water it" And the number one sign you have a Bad Christmas tree... Constantly bragging about its "trunk size"