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What he says: |
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What he really means: |
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“That’s an interesting
idea.” |
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“WOW! What a
fantastic idea! …glad I thought of it.” |
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| “We need to get this
project done by Thursday.” |
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“You need to get this project done by Thursday.
I need to work on my golf swing.” |
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| “I’d like to
announce an exciting growth opportunity for our business…” |
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“Prepare
yourselves to work longer hours for the same pay.” |
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| “I’ll take that
into consideration.” |
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“That’s the
dumbest idea I’ve ever heard!” |
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| "We need to watch
our expenses." |
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“Don’t buy
anything or hire any new people. I need to keep my company
car.” |
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| “Go right ahead,
you have my full support.” |
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“If you screw up,
I’ll deny knowing who you are or that you work here.” |
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| “Let’s run this
by upper management and see what they think.” |
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“I’m going to
take credit if they like it, and blame you if they
don’t." |
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| “I have an open
door policy.” |
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“Anytime my door
is open, I’ll be out of the office.” |
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| “We’re going to
be making some exciting changes to your benefits package this
year.” |
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“Your heart
medication isn’t really that important, is
it?” |
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|
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| “I’m glad to see
our company has such fine, dedicated workers.” |
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“I can’t think
of your name right now, but I’m sure it will come to
me…” |
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|
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| “Hmmm… why don’t
we try doing it both ways?” |
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“I’m not bright
or brave enough to make a decision.” |
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| “Take care.
Drive home safely.” |
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“Don’t think I
don’t notice how early you leave work.” |
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| “Sick? Don’t
worry, we’ve got everything under control here. Just stay in bed and
take it easy.” |
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“You have 24 hrs.
before I start looking for your replacement.” |
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|
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| “So, what do you
think of my idea?” |
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“Let me know if you need help steering
your nose up my butt.” |
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| “Can I see you
in my office for a second?” |
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“Bend
over.” |
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| “Before we
begin, why don’t you give everyone here a quick summary of your
proposal?” |
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“I haven’t
bothered to read anything you’ve sent me.” |
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| “There’s going
to be many exciting new challenges for the company in the year
ahead.” |
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“You might want
to update your resume.” |
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| “That’s just my
opinion…why don’t you tell me what you
think?” |
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“Why don’t you
take a few minutes and regurgitate what I just said?” |
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|
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| “You look tired.
Why don’t you take the afternoon off?” |
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“Feel lucky I
didn’t make you work the entire Saturday.” |
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|
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| “Moving forward,
we need to leverage our synergies to capitalize on our fundamental
intellectual paradigm.” |
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“I read a
six-month-old copy of Business Week at the dentist’s office
this morning.” |
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| “You’re
fired!” |
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“You’re fired!”
(Hey, even bosses
can be up front once in a
while).
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